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How to Fix Life When Life Sucks

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Yesterday night I was ‘people watching’ on Reddit, and I came across a post that hit me in the gut. It was a simple question without much detail, but it resonated with me as if I knew exactly what the poster was going through. The question was posted under the subreddit category of Empaths, and he/she wrote: “I am completely broken lost love, job no money completely broke plus in debt don’t feel like doing anything.”

I know this feeling too well, mainly because I’m currently living in it as I type. It’s a heavy feeling and one that is unmistakable. My response to him/her is the following:

On occasion, the randomness of the universe will take everything away from us, but for the most part, when we find ourselves back at square one, it’s a result of the choices we made and the lack of foresight of how those choices will impact us down the road.

We often want someone, or life, in particular, to help us climb out of the hole that we’re in, but the only person that can really help us out of this is ourselves. Some people can help guide us, but we need to be the ones doing the heavy lifting.

It’ll take time, hard work, and a tremendous amount of patience. But it is achievable if we believe we can achieve it.

Start by exploring how you came to be in the situation that you’re in now. Start asking yourself some tough questions. What decisions were made, or not made along the way? Be careful about blaming others for your problems and try your best to take some accountability with a good dose of self-compassion – because this makes acceptance of your situation a lot easier.

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Were there unreasonable expectations set by you or someone else in your life? Were expectations even set at all? Do you know what you really want to get out of life? If so, were you on the right path to achieving that life before you got knocked down? What kind of relationships do you gravitate towards? Are those relationships healthy or toxic?

With some deep introspective and some reflection of your past, you may be able to recognize the moment(s) that led you astray. You can’t change any of that, but you can use those wrong turns to help guide you to make the right turns in the future. If you dwell on the past it’ll keep you in a place of unhappiness.

Don’t lose hope. Give yourself permission to be sad for a bit, but don’t overstay your welcome. Pick yourself up and guide yourself in a new direction without the pitfalls of your previous direction. One step at a time. You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind.

Try using this guide, The Most Important Conversation You’ll Have With Yourself, to help sort out your thoughts and answer those tough questions.

It’s good to have you here.
– Theresa

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